Another one bites the dust

Pardon the bad '80's allusion. I'm not even old enough to remember that song when it first came out. Heh.

I had to fire another CNA yesterday. It's getting really ridiculous around here. The whole point of the wonderful program that Thomas is part of is that I get 12 hours a week of help from a CNA (Certified Nurse's Aide). This is someone who, in a perfect world which is CLEARLY lightyears from the world in which I reside, will work with Thomas on his fine motor skills, his walking, play with him, read to him and generally engage him and make him happy while I'm busy cleaning house, grocery shopping or lounging by the pool sipping margaritas. I'm JOKING about that last one. We don't even HAVE a pool.

We've had 4 aides since January. The first one kept not showing up so I decided that if she needed that much time off she could have it - permanently.

The second was a darling little old lady who loved to take Thomas out in his "scroller" for some "extrycize". Every time she said that I giggled to myself and wanted to hug her. She found a position closer to home and, with gas prices at approximately $100 dollars a gallon, who can blame her?

The third was a sweet girl who had just had a baby of her own. I thought that would be great because she would have lots of mother-love going on that she could just transfer to Thomas. One morning the agency called and informed me that she, too, had found another position.

At this point I started to get a little paranoid. Was it me? It couldn't be Thomas - he's too sweet - but maybe I was being a controlling ogre that no one wanted to work with. Ack! I am chasing away my help! No, I was assured by the agency, it isn't me. Whew. My self-esteem intact, I awaited the next one eagerly.

This last one was a doozy. She was about 20, had peroxide-blonde hair with black roots to her ears, black eyeliner traced around her eyes like Ozzy Osbourne in his heyday, and absolutely no sense of responsibility. I gave her two weeks. This past Monday I came home from the store to find Thomas sitting BY HIMSELF in the living room while she checked out MySpace on MY computer. I won't go into all the excruciating details of what was said, but she honestly seemed a little surprised when I told her it just wasn't going to work out. Here's the jist of the conversation:

Me - I just don't think this is going to work out.

Her - okaayyy.

Me - I don't like seeing Thomas sitting by himself while you blah blah blah and I don't feel like you really pay attention to him blah blah blah...(several minutes of ranting to make me feel better.)

Her - Huh. Ok.


Long pause where she sits and looks at me expectantly.


Me - Would you like me to sign your time sheet for this week?

Her - You don't want me to stay today?

Me - What part of "you're fired" do you not get?


Ok, I didn't actually say that last part but MAN did I want to.