Thursday, May 29, 2008

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Emerson turned 1 on May 23rd, and I am still in shock. How did a whole year go by? Never mind that the year included my husband changing jobs and the family moving back to the beach, it just doesn't seem possible that Emmie should be 1.

As the days counted down to the 23rd I would say to myself "a year ago today was the day I went to the doctor thinking I had a bladder-control problem." Amniotic fluid? What do you mean amniotic fluid?

Then "a year ago right now I called Chris to tell him I'd had 11 contractions in an hour." He was all WHY AREN'T YOU PAGING THE NURSE???

"A year ago right now I had to be held back from trying to kick my ob-gyn in the teeth for that stupid smile on his face while I was having the mother of all contractions." COME HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT. Bastard.

In the end, obviously, it was all worth it. Here is the first pic of Emmie - it was taken with my phone because in spite of the fact I had been in the hospital for THREE WEEKS on bedrest, I still hadn't thought to ask someone to bring my camera to me. I know, my brilliance astounds me as well.

After she was born the doc said she weighed 4 lbs 6 ozs, but if you look at the grams on the scale and do the math you see that she apparently only weighed 4 lbs 3 ozs. Hmmm.

This is my favorite photo from her stay in the Special Care Nursery. She was just the tiniest little thing.

And now she's a whopping 17 lbs-something and crawling all over the place. I don't know where the time went, but it's been fun along the way.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Pump you up!

We visited my parents this Memorial Day weekend and had so much fun. They live on Lake Hartwell in South Carolina and have a boat, and my dad loves to cruise around on pretty days. I am the first to admit that I am a FREAK when it comes to my kids and water. Last year I was completely obnoxious about the kids having flotation devices when we were out on the lake, so this year for their birthdays they got little floaty suits. They are the biggest pains in the patootie you can imagine. They have no buttons or snaps and you have to insert legs into the legholes and then, holding the shoulder straps, sort of shake the kid down into the suit until you can slip the arms through. It's sort of like trying to put a pillow into a wet pillowcase. The suits have foam stuffing which provides the flotation, and they TOTALLY remind me of Hans and Franz from Saturday Night Live many, many years ago. We want to PUMP YOU UP!

It was also Emerson's FIRST BIRTHDAY! I just can't believe it's been a year and I will post more on that when I have more time. Until then, here are a couple of pics from her birthday celebration.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Is there a DIY Anonymous meeting I could attend?

One of the first sentences my parents recall me saying was "girl do by self". This has followed me my entire life, and with good reason. I am CONVINCED that with the right tools and a little work I can fix, install, remove, repaint, unwallpaper, adjust or wire ANYTHING. Sometimes I am right about this.

When we first moved into our rental house I was anxious to get the washer and dryer up and going because, well, having 2 kids and a husband means that a day without one of those appliances running turns the pile of laundry into a Mt. Fuji that cannot be scaled. I had the movers back the dryer close to its spot and I started to plug it in, when I noticed that the socket would only handle a three-prong plug and I *gasp* have a dryer with a four-prong plug.

Now, you might think this would completely undo me and send me crying to my room, but being the independent little pain-in-the-@ss that I am, I actually HAVE a three-prong plug that, for some reason, I had saved for several years. All I needed to do was switch out the plugs and voila! I could begin doing laundry again! I started unscrewing the old plug from the back of the dryer, but then stopped and decided to try the spare plug in the socket to make sure it fit.

***NOTE - do not try this at home, Internet***

Without thinking twice about it, I stuck that three-prong plug into the socket and !!FLASH!!CRACK!!Holy Sh*t!!! The other end touched the front of my shirt and burned a hole in it, along with flipping several breakers in the fuse box. My landlord Brian, who is a good friend, had just walked in the door and saw the whole thing. As if speaking to a Cuban hijacker holding a gun and demanding to be taken to the US, he calmly told me to put down the plug and step away from the dryer. I immediately complied. He sent an electrician over to repair the damage and fix the dryer.

Fast forward to yesterday, when I decided I wanted to turn on the sprinkler system because the hydrangeas in the backyard were looking sad and droopy. I found the control box for the system a few weeks ago, but when I opened it discovered it had been totally colonized by nasty little black ants that started crawling up my legs and biting me.

I left the cover off the box and a few days later after a heavy rain noticed the ants had packed up and moved house to a location less prone to flooding. SO, I tried to turn the system on yesterday. Eh - it was not a huge success, some of the sprinkler heads don't work, others just dribble, so I turned it back off.

EXCEPT, the front sprinklers WOULDN'T TURN OFF. No matter how hard I turned the handle, they kept on spraying. I had to flip the breaker in the afore-mentioned fuse box to turn off the well pump. FABULOUS, I think, I'm going to have to call Brian and admit to something else I tried to do.

He's sending over a plumber today.

Have a learned my lesson? OF COURSE NOT!

Monday, May 19, 2008

He's sitting on the counter because it's safe there. His sister can't get to him when he sits on the counter and he gets to keep me company while I cook. Never you mind those ginormous kitchen knives just to his right, he's safe, SAFE I tell you!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

For the Grandparents

It seems it's been a while since I posted new pics of the kids, and I know a couple of sets of grandparents who are undoubtedly getting a little antsy, so this one is for you guys!

*sigh* She ONLY wants the toy Thomas is playing with.

If you're happy and you know it pat your head...

Deciding which dog to torment first

And here is Jake, who ALWAYS goes after the ears. Always.

Hope you had a great weekend!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Lazy day

Saturday was one of those days where nothing was planned but plenty was accomplished. Probably because both kids got up before 7:00 am. Hello? It's SATURDAY! Unfortunately, since neither child is in school yet the whole notion of Saturday morning is lost on them. Beh.

We played outside on the deck, we discovered that Emmie REALLY LOVES grilled cheese samiches, we went to swing in the park...ahh, the park. We started out thinking we would head down to the Episcopal (that's a really hard word to type, by the way) Church on the corner to try out their playground. Once we got there we discovered they had NO TODDLER SWINGS. The horror. After a moment of discussion we decided to hike up our big-boy pants and head to the park near the house. The park is really, really close, but you have to cross a very busy street with no proper crosswalk to get there. Chris timed the light (16 seconds) and decided we could do it. That's when we found out it takes 18 seconds to cross that intersection while wearing flip-flops and pushing a double-stroller full of kids.

Home again home again, safely and without being hit by a city bus.

Friday, May 16, 2008


The other day I found this site. You type in your name and it tells you how many people in the US have that same name. Interesting stuff. Of course I entered Thomas and Emerson's names to see what came up. This is what Thomas's said:

- There are 2,102,724 people in the U.S. with the first name Thomas.

- Statistically the 11th most popular first name.

- 99.78 percent of people with the first name Thomas are male.

Then I entered Emmie's, and got this result:

- There are 12,163 people in the U.S. with the first name Emerson.

- Statistically the 1684th most popular first name.

- More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Emerson are male.

This means there are actually more women in this country named THOMAS than there are women named Emerson.


Thursday, May 15, 2008


I remember when Thomas had his one-year checkup. I had forgotten to ask for our regular doctor, Dr. Sarah, and so was stuck with whoever was available. Don't get me wrong, he was really nice. And really cute. But that's another story. He looked Thomas over, gave him a couple of vaccinations and told me that soon Thomas would be crawling around putting things in his mouth, and to watch out for that. I think I laughed out loud since this was before I learned just to let stuff like that slide. I said no, I don't think that is one of our problems right now. The doc was persistent though, insisting that yes, I really needed to start watching him to make sure he didn't choke on something he put in his mouth. He had no idea how much I wished he were right.


I still don't have that problem with Thomas. And it's ok, because I DEFINITELY have that problem with Emerson. BOY do I have that problem with Emmie. I find things in her mouth that couldn't have even come from my house. A cashew? I haven't bought cashews since we moved in! Emmie, put that cat food DOWN for pete's sake. Emmie, Thomas's tube is not a chew toy, particularly when it is attached to him!

That doc, he had good advice.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Oh MAN are birthdays fun.

Yesterday was Thomas's THIRD BIRTHDAY. Yup. My little man is 3. You know what that means, don't you? CAKE. Or, in this case, cupcakes, because I'm on Weight Watchers and it's a lot easier to eat only one cupcake than it is to eat only one [reasonably-sized] piece of cake. So without further ado, I bring you the cupcake photos:

Oooh - icing!

Really getting into it now...

Wow - someone go start the bathtub!

Emmie surrenders.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Boy and His Bear

No child has ever, in the history of creation, loved a stuffed animal the way Thomas loves Bartleby. I have no idea where I came up with that name, by the way, my brain just works in strange and wonderful ways. At naming time it was obviously just working in strange ways. At any rate, as soon as I spoke that name it stuck. Thomas's love for that bear is a pure, unadulterated love, the kind that only a child can have. Bartleby is worn-out. He smells funny. He looks like he was run over by a subway train and dragged along the third rail for a couple of miles. But Thomas loves him. Gazes upon him with adoration in his eyes. Mimi and GrandDan bought Thomas a New Bartleby at Christmas in preparation for Old Bartleby finally wearing out and going to teddy bear Heaven. We handed NB to Thomas along with OB. Thomas looked at each, kissed each, then gently laid NB down and hugged OB to his chest. I know what he was thinking. I will NEVER cheat on Bartleby. No matter how attractive or sweet-smelling the replacement is, I will remain FAITHFUL!

Thursday, May 8, 2008


We call Thomas Crazy Monkeyhair Boy. This is why.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Physical Therapy

Sometimes Thomas's PT is almost as hard on me as it is on him. Last week was like that. He screamed the whole time, didn't want to work at all, made it seem like we were amputating with a plastic knife. Pam finally gave up and took her toys and went home.

Today was much better - he worked hard and actually had some fun. We read him stories between sets, made him giggle, showed him he could really do it. He has this little walker that Pam brought him. When she first brought it over I laughed out loud. I was convinced he would never cooperate enough to use it - it has no straps, no seat, nothing to help keep him upright. Oh me of little faith. Look at this kid! He's WALKING. Granted, he's screaming a little while he does it, but he's WALKING!

I am so proud of this kid. When we ask him to push himself, he does. He's going to preschool in the Fall. I'm terrified and excited all at the same time. How can I just drop him off someplace and trust them to have his best interests at heart? To cuddle him when he's scared? To know when only Bartleby will make it all better? What about all the breakthroughs? His TEACHERS will be the first to see them? I don't like it, but I'll adjust. I saw the place he's going and it's really nice. Fantastic playground, all the therapists he needs, an RN on staff. It's really a perfect spot. I still don't like the fact that this is the next step, but he's growing up! How did my baby boy get to be three years old? I know it took a lot of work to get here, and in a way I've done enough work for 10 years. Make that, THOMAS has done enough work for 10 years. But 3 years old? Isn't possible.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


Emerson is starting to eat table food and I am constantly on the look-out for stuff I think she'll like. One thing she LOVES is juice, but pediatricians and other know-it-all busybodies concerned parties will quickly tell you that juice is NOT GOOD FOR BABIES. It has SUGAR and HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP. It will rot their teeth, cause diabetes, obesity, schizophrenia and male pattern baldness. Therefore, having been duly warned, I went on the search for juice that would not cause permanent harm to my child. I found this today:

Hey, I think, 40% less sugar. No artificial sweeteners. Good deal. I put it in the cart and go on my merry way, convinced I was super-mom. Then I get it home and check out the label thoroughly. It is fruit juice diluted with water. I paid money for watered-down juice. The Mott's people are cackling like hyenas right now.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Emerson and the Cat bowls

Me - Oh. dear. God.

C - What?

Me - she's sitting in a puddle of water eating cat food out of the bowl.

C - well, it does smell pretty good.

Playing outside

It was a beautiful weekend and we spent every minute that we could outside. Thomas and Emerson are learning to play nicely together, but she still terrorizes him frequently and I have to referee.

GrandNana bought Thomas a swimming pool for his birthday and I'm happy to say, it's a little larger than the last one. Naturally, Jake wanted in on the action.

I underestimated the chilliness of the water. Before I knew it lips were blue and hypothermia had set in. Emerson had to splash constantly to stay warm. She really is a nut when she gets into water. She feels it is IMPERATIVE that she splash. Everyone must get wet! Dryness will not be tolerated!

A trip to the park was a necessity, and Emmie got to swing in the toddler swings for the first time. Thomas is a pro at this and would swing for as long as you push him.

Back at home, Emerson and Jake did some bonding. It cracks me up to see them together, mostly because his head is bigger than her whole body.

That's it for now - babies are waking up and there is fun to be had.