Monday, June 16, 2008

No dog poop in THIS post

We were in Hilton Head this weekend and the Hubs and I got to go out for a real, Adult Dinner WITHOUT CHILDREN and WITH wine and everything. Or should I say Beverages, because that's what the server kept saying. We had dinner at a restaurant on the harbor at Palmetto Dunes which had a lovely view, the breeze was perfect and the humidity, surprisingly enough, was low. Our server came over to start us with appetizers and drinks and right away I knew I had my next blog post.

She starts by saying "May I offer you an appetizer or a beverage?" Sure! I'd love a beverage! Make it an adult beverage please! She was so very refined with that smile plastered on and the oh-so-interested tilt to her head. I thought she was a bit odd but I let it go. The night was so perfect!

She comes back with our beverages and proceeds to tell us about the chef's specials.

"Tonight we offer our risotto du jour which is topped with wreckfish and served with a persimmon coulis over our risotto du jour which is made with roasted red peppers and saffron. Wreckfish is a very rich, meaty fish with a lot of flavor and it goes quite nicely with our risotto du jour." Gah!

"In addition we offer Alaskan King Crab legs. I don't know if you follow 'Deadliest Catch' like we do around here, but these are HUGE crab legs and we offer a pound and quarter of Alaskan King Crab legs served with clarified butter and our vegetable du jour, which is broccolini."

"Lastly we offer a (air quotes here) sand and surf dish which is a petite filet cooked to your temperature perfection and two Alaskan King Crab legs, all served with our vegetable du jour, which is broccolini. I'll give you a few moments to make your choice."

She walked away and I looked at Hubs like "what is up with the Stepford Server? Do you think she knows what 'du jour' even means? Did they give her a script and threaten her with waterboarding if she didn't memorize it word for word?"

She soon returns and asks if we have had sufficient time to peruse the menu. It turns out we had perused to our hearts content and so we ordered.

Then she heads to the next table and gives the EXACT SAME SPIEL that she gave us. Right down to multiple repetitions of "du jour" and "I don't know if you follow Deadliest Catch like we do around here..." I heard her give that little speech no fewer than 4 times while we were there.

She brings us a basket of bread to "nosh" on while we waited for our food.

She offers to "refresh our beverages". Over and Over. Those exact words. "May I refresh your beverages?".

I know she was working hard. Believe me, waiting tables is one of the hardest jobs out there, particularly in a tourist destination. But she was such an automaton that I couldn't help but think that maybe her meds needed to be tweaked a little.

Meanwhile, back at the condo, Emmie is discovering what vacation is all about:

Let's see what we have here.

Can I get anyone anything?

Only three left!

Thomas preferred the first restaurant we went to because they had green beans he could floss his teeth with.


Mike said...

Those refrigerator photos are hilarious! Definetely ones to print out!

I hear you about the fancy restaurants. They can be enjoyable, but most of the time I prefer a good Mexican restaurant or the Cheesecake factory. Unpretentious but tasty food...and a lot cheaper. And usually instead of saying "Beverages" they will say "Tequila?" Much more fun!

Dana said...

Your daughter is really so gorgeous! And Thomas is so cute! Love the fly-away hair! *tee hee*

I'm not good at improv myself, but I can't stand vapid wait-persons!