As if regular Spam isn't icky enough

The other day I was at my local grocery store - the one so close to my house that if I drove a stick-shift I wouldn't even get to 3rd gear before pulling into the parking lot. I love that store. Anyway, I am cruising down the aisle marked "canned meats, pasta, rice" and I see this:

I mean, what GENIUS decided to add cholesteral, nitrites and huge amounts of sodium to a product already loaded with these items? When I realized just what I was looking at my stomach did a backflip, jumped out of my abdominal cavity and ran down the aisle for the front doors. When I googled Spam for this post, I discovered actual Spam fan clubs. Books written by Spam fans. Websites devoted to Spam. Spamtastic!